docs(drafts): add post on avoiding validation seeking

Author: lzwjava

_drafts/2025-07-12-seek-validation-en.md

@@ -0,0 +1,53 @@
+---
+audio: false
+lang: en
+layout: post
+title: Avoid Seeking Validation
+translated: false
+generated: false
+---
+
+Seeking Validation is probably something most people do. You need validation from parents, teachers, bosses and users to survive or live in this society.
+
+If one is very rich , does one need validation? One may become very selective. One often gives validation to others instead of seeking them. One just doesn't care opinions of others.
+
+Does my teacher Yin Wang have ever seeking validation? It seems not. He dropped out tsinghua , cornell, indian blooming ton. He quitted Microsoft, Intel, Google etc.
+
+As a person who seeking a lot of validation, I learn from Yin Wang and start to avoid seeking validation. 
+
+One have formed this habit from very early. One need validation from parents so not be punished by them. 
+
+But what parents agree on may not be correct. Does playing mobile phone a lot to see animations will hurt their eyes? By wearing farsighted glasses, when they see mobile phone, is just like watch 5 meters' away's TV. Their eyes won't be deformed.
+
+Is it probably hard to let kids wear farsighted glasses when watching animation from mobile phone? I don't think so. If the kids can choose watch animation from mobile phone with eyeglasses wearing or that kids can choose to not watch them, I think most of kids will choose former.
+
+So actually , a lot of thoughts or ideas of parents or average adult is not correct, or not absolutely correct. In this world, there are just so many ways to do things. 
+
+In my recent job, what's change inside me is that I seek much less validation. I worked as a contractor for a same bank which I worked for that two years ago though this time , I am coming from another vendor. 
+
+At last time, I remember, when I just work after a month, and I got the salary and then shared the thankfulness to my manger. And told him that even log off, I listened to a lot of backend engineering videos to learn. As I send messages a little more, he then told me like good , keep up the work. And some other thing like express he doesn't need to listen those and tell me just focus on the job and doing it is fine though he isn't so direct however I can feel that. 
+
+The Binance CEO Changpeng Zhao also say that he is unbearable to work with those who constantly seek validation. He likes to work with that are confident. The managers are probably busy and doesn't have time to listen those unrelated to the work.
+
+My need to seek validation also made other trouble for me. It is like I want to prove myself too much. It got some conflicts with others. One thing is that it let me invovle something that I am not responsible for. However, what I am thinking is that I should speak out to make it better. Though I have good heart to want things become better, but the way to do so is not telling others how to do. Correcting others is painful. I don't want to be corrected too. 
+
+In my recent job, I seldom seek validation and just do the job. Then it is fine and I got some good feedback. 
+
+Another change about me is that I stop posting in WeChat moments almost for 2 years. Before, I think WeChat moments is the world. Now, I think that WeChat moments for the world is just like Line Status for Japanese. It doesn't matter as you think.
+
+The world is very large. I lived in Guangzhou for total 15 years in the two inconsectutive residence , half life of mine as of now. If take Guangzhou as granted world, then it is probably wrong. One day maybe I work in other city in another country, and I develop code for billions people to use. 
+
+Seeking validation is insecure behaviour. That's deep inside problem. It is hard to fix that. You need to find out what leads to that and start to fix the reason. You need to face feer directly. 
+
+The biggest fear for humans is probably death. If you start to enbrace them, you have no regret to live this world at this moment. You think you have living a good life. You think you do what you wanna do. The more you think about it, the more you will feel secure. 
+
+I read some books from Morita Shoma. There are lot of story to about fighting with self-contradictory mindset. Pain is unavoidable. We accept it and continue do what we should do instead of avoiding them. Things will start to be better.
+
+Avoid seeking validation saves your time and others' time too. It helps find the trueness of yourself and world. Humans are just small part of the world. Validation of them aren't that matter, so why seek?
+
+Yin Wang's webo name become for the Yin who doesn't care human beings anymore. I don't understand initially. After mulling over it times by times in recent years, I start to appreciate it.
+
+Newton doesn't care his fellow so then he find the principle of nature. Yin Wang doesn't care his fellow so he found the principle of computer program and beyond. They doen't seeking validation and sometimes even hide what they discover from arguements with people who are seeking validations.
+
+
+